well it has been a while... to much has happened to say it all. yesterday i had a masive orgy haha. i had decided i had liked someone but then i find out today he likes someone else. so that sucks. and guess what. she is the girl that my last b/f had to pick between. and yes i dated him (sorry to say) but he liked her the whole time and thats why i broke it off. o and this girl is a good friend not someone i hate. now the guy i like likes her but she is "in love" with someone else. this is sad. this has to happen to me all the time doesnt it? i was all happy until now. my friends say i should tell him and win him b/c that girl has someone. but they are going to the movies tomorrow together... and i have to babysit. we are going to hang out on sat. with people maybe ill say something there. well im going to go
oh and adam...(tbs)
said kyles name on stage and annouce that he lost is BIG V infront of everyone. which mean he read my e-mail!! haha
so this isnt saving....
Today was long... I got to the hospital around 3. And the doctor came and talked to us around 3:30 and said they were done and they couldn’t do all 4 bi-passes. They only did 3 b/c one was too complicated to get to and might have caused him to have a heart attack or a stroke. They couldn’t find any good veins to use from his leg so they had to cut more then they thought they would. I got to go up there soon after the doctor had talked to us. When I saw him he was covered up in a heating blanket trying to keep him warm. He was just as pale as those white sheets he had around him. He had a big tube and a littler one coming out of his throat to breathe for him. We couldn’t see any of where they had surgery on him so it wasn’t that bad. My 2 aunts and 2 sisters came up to visit. They got to go see him even though they weren’t supposed to and they got yelled at b/c they did. We had to wait until 8:30 to see him again. I was shaking outside the door waiting to see him again and hoping to get some words out of him. He peaked his eyes open slowing. They looked to be very heavy they way he tried to keep them open for my mother and I. He kept trying to move around that silly old man. He said he was in a lot of pain. The tubes were out of his mouth and the blanket was off his chest. He had a long bandage from the middle of his chest down to a little above the belly button. He had all sort of things attached to him. He said his hands felt like they were dead and he kept trying to move them. I was scared to touch him b/c my hands were cold. My stomach felt uneasy at the sight of him in pain. He never shows pain. I haven't ever seen him cry except for once when my mom and he were going to get separated. He choked on the words like someone was holding his throat. The words were trapped inside and it looked like the words were just stabbing his throat trying to come out. My mom told the nurse to give him some pain med. he told us he was going to give him morphine. He started shaking in like the next couple of min. My mom was like you make sure you yell if you’re not feeling good night and he yelled. That took a lot out of him. We all laughed. We needed it. I could see where they missed some parts where they had shaven his chest. I asked him if they painted his toe nails yet since he had no leg hair. I also said when we first got in there that I was surprised that he didn't have a girlfriend yet. He looked at me and rolled his eyes. We told him that we had to leave b/c they were kicking us out. I could tell he didn't want to be alone. We told him that we loved him and he said it back. We couldn't understand what else he said b/c the med. was kicking in good at that point. As soon and my mom and I stepped outside the doors he started to cry... I could feel my stomach just wanting to hurl. In the car there was a silence most the way. My mom is in bed now she has had a long day she has been up since 3. I'm hoping to get some rest tonight and to keep my stomach from getting upset anymore b/c I can't stand throwing up so I'm going to try my hardest not too. Goodnight
